Conversations

After a 3-week break from work, coming back has reminded me of the quirks of my job. I didn't realize how habituated I had become to word confusion, mispronunciations and generally broken conversations. Sometimes my students say things that are so grossly inaccurate that I have to imagine an alternate universe in which the entire state of Ohio will blow up if I laugh in order to slap myself serious. Honestly, there is nothing more disheartening (that's a lie) than constructing a phrase in a foreign language to the best of your ability and then a native speaker cutting you off mid-sentence to bend over in peels of laughter. So, since I spend all day holding myself back for the sake of English learners in France, I am using this post as a space to share how choppy, circular and endearing conversations with students can be.

Me: What are you doing for Christmas?

Student: I hate.

Me: You don't like Christmas?

Student: No, I will hate.

Me: You will eat?

Student: Yes.

Me: Hello Lucas and Jeremy. How are you guys?

Lucas: I am sixty years.

Jeremy: No, you are fine.

Lucas: I am not five.

Me (in the culinary class): What are you doing?

Student: I cut off the heads of pigeons.

Me: You did that??

Student: Yes and even my stomach is hurting.

Me: From cutting off their heads?

Student: Sorry, I don't understand.

Me: How was your internship?

Student 1: Yes.

Me: It was good?

Student 1: Yes.

Me: Why?

Student 1: I like the staff is good and the job is funny.

Me: What about you?

Student 2: Yes.

Me: How long?

Student: Half two hours.

Me: Two and a half hours?

Student: Ah, yes.

Me: What are you doing for Christmas?

Student: Nothing, I don't can't went.

Me: Was it hard?

Student: Yeah.

Me: Really, it was hard?

Student: No.

Me: What was your uniform for work?

Student: Brown weapons.

Me: Aprons?

Student: Yes, weapons.

Me: Why did you go to the shopping center?

Student: For buy clotheses.

Me: To buy clothes?

Student: Yes, for to buy clotheses.

Me: What did you do this weekend?

Student: I slept and nothing.

Me: That's cool.

Student: Yes, it's peace and love.

Me: Did you enjoy your internship?

Student: Yes?

Me: You enjoyed it?

Student: I don't know?

Me: Did you like your internship?

Student: Ah, si, ah, yes, yes.

Me: Why?

Student: Why?

Me: Yes, why?

Student: Yes?

Me: No, why?

Student: No?

Me: Why did you like it?

Student: Ah, yes, I like it, yes.